Mid (?) summer update. First installment, here. Documentation of Phase Two. Also Known As: the part that will never end.
We hired my nephews to pull weeds all summer. A. I didn't realize how big the yard was until I noticed that by the time you made a complete circle, the stuff at the start was starting to grow back and B. I didn't think we had gotten anything done until I looked back at those first pics.
Fence starting to go in: Notice it is NOT white nor "picket" in nature. We just could not in good conscience pay $6000 for the fence of my dreams. And (aside from losing the arbor over the gate which will still HOPEFULLY happen at some point...) I'm glad we did. I love this fence just SO MUCH MORE. I honestly do.
Weeds piled. I can't wait until green waste pick up day! Seriously. This is 90% of everything that was in our yard. 9% has already been disposed of and 1% is being ignored in our yard because DUDE there are a lot of weeds. This doesn't even begin to show. I should have had Sammy stand in front as comparison!
The only thing we planted this year were 5 tomato plants. And, honestly, I randomly threw them into the ground and hoped for the best. Clearly that's all it takes to grow tomatoes because, again, while not as crazy as last year's, they are still going strong. (five little plants in a tomato round table)
(my first non cherry or grape tomato plant. I sincerely believed it to be frozen to death in early summer, but it's bounced back nicely!)
(mmmmmm. I have fresh basil and mozzarella in the fridge calling for them!)
Phase three to be completed before fall is done: Finish fence. Shale and cement the park strip. Put weed block down before first snow. Buy apple, pear and cherry trees and have them planted. Then, MAYBE then, I will feel we are actually moving forward!
So. It's hot. And I'm pretty sure my usefulness for summer is over. It's like a bad break up, you know? You have this great love affair and you can't wait to see him. You can't wait to be embraced in his warmth and love. But then the ugliness rears its head and under the heat of day, you see the flaws and fissions where once only rainbows and sno-cones were. So, you know, you have to break up, right? The harsh reality never living up to the fantasy...
But where was I? Oh, yeah. It's hot. And as my A/C kicks on every 3 seconds, and I fantasize about dinners of ice cubes and popsicles, I dream of the upcoming fall. And start counting the things I can't wait for. Like...
:sweaters. And it being cool enough for sweaters. :apple cider. There's a place here that makes the BEST cider. And I don't normally like cider, but I've been dreaming of it for a year. :October. I really love the month of October, in all it's orangeness. :Starbucks. I'm sincerely missing caramel hot chocolates right about now. :my new rain boots. (These, but how cute are these? Or These? Ooooooh. Or these?) :complaining about the cold and counting down until summer...
I remember when Ayelet Waldman was first on Oprah...however many years ago. She was talking about her controversial article where she said that her husband comes first, before her kids. It was before Sammy, although I may have been pregnant at the time. I also remember thinking how NOT crazy she was and how that opinion felt in the minority. So I tucked it away, became a fan of hers and went on with life. Now, four years of motherhood later, I still think she was right. I love my kid to the end of the earth and back. I would do ANYTHING for him. Anything at all. But. He's still not number one with me. That will always be Isaac.
I was reminded of this article again this weekend, via a related, but not entirely similar conversation. I don't think I could adequately explain how much I love my husband. We're talking giddy feelings when I see him walk up the walk after work. The absolute devastation when we're too busy to spend one on one time together. The loneliness I feel when I spend day after day with only Sammy.
Really. I love my kid. So much. But he's changing and growing and will (rightly) leave and hold some other woman in the highest regard when he marries. But my relationship with Isaac? Is constant. Is right. Is true. Is what makes my day better, makes me better, makes my life worth it.
So, four years into my own experiment, my hat is tipped, Ms. Waldman. I get it. I understand. And truly believe it's how it should be.
I don't understand why the toughest decisions in my life always have a time limit to them and no discernible answer. I can't be trusted with things like this!
We have this VERY IMPORTANT THING we need to think about and decide. I know the way I'm leaning, but feel I need to explore everything fully. Even though I really don't want to. Do you know those times when you KNOW what the answer is, but you also know that even IF that is the same answer you end up with, the journey is what you need to do to learn and grow and close the door finally. Completely. For good? I'm 99% sure that is what this is. The decision, in my heart of hearts is made. The decision isn't weighing on my mind as it would be if I was undecided. The decision isn't tearing me up inside. But I still feel the pull to make sure I make the journey. And I'm afraid if I do, it'll just make me sad. So I'm dragging my feet and putting it off and ignoring. Because that's healthy, right?
But at the same time we are abundantly blessed. The fact that we have this decision to make AT ALL is proof positive of that. And I am not looking at that part lightly at all. I am grateful for it. I am grateful for girlfriends who will listen to me, even when I know the answer, but still need to talk. I'm grateful for a husband who will even entertain the thought when I know he doesn't need the same journey.
So. Great blessings and clarity arrive through heartbreaking trial. Who knew?
We made homemade gyros tonight. Holy hannah, they were heavenly. Mark Bittman wins again!
I recently purchased lamb kabobs from the same farmer we got our beef from last fall. Simply for the gyros. I then took Mark Bittman's Greek salad recipe and married it with his gyro recipe and came up with this:
1 lb of lamb, tossed with garlic salt and red pepper flakes 1 sweet green pepper (because there weren't any red peppers at the farmer's market last weekend), sliced 1/4 of an onion, sliced
Grill lamb while sauteing peppers and onion until just tender. I tossed them all together once they were all cooked. Meanwhile, I made a modified Bittman sauce.
12 oz. plain yogurt 1/2 med cucumber, finely diced 1/2 large tomato, finely chopped garlic salt dill - both to taste
Stuff your pita with the lamb and onion/peppers combo. Top with the sauce.
So good and I'm already looking forward to the leftovers for lunch tomorrow...
Last Friday, my family and my sister's family decided to take a little day trip. We went to the aquarium (Sammy had SO! MUCH! FUN!). (Sammy, Chandler-ing it up)
It was a little small, but a good way to spend a couple of hours. We saw fish and snake and spiders and frogs (SHUDDER) and eels and rays and blah, blah, blah...However, the best thing was running into my friend Bryn. She's here for the summer and, through the craziness that is summer, we were unable to get together. Imagine my surprise when I hear Bryn's voice from across the gift shop. What are the chances? It was a quick visit, but so good to see her. And apparently, she noticed my shoes first. There goes that reputation again!
After the aquarium, we were all hot (seriously, NO A/C in that joint!) and starving and made our way to Buca di Beppo. Which I LOVE. And don't get to nearly as often as I should. Table for eight, they sequestered us away from everyone (smart people!) and I ordered cheese ravioli with meat sauce, my new passion in life. Growing up, we never got Italian; my dad didn't like it. I was often jealous of Friday night pizza and random spaghetti nights. So, you can imagine my Italian binge I've gone on since leaving the house. However, ravioli was not on the binge list. I had memories of the nasty that was school cafeteria ravioli and I just stayed away. It MUST be gross, right? Several years ago, Isaac and I stumbled onto this really great Italian place in Portland. I can't remember if I had their ravioli or not, but I was intrigued. It looked good. I don't know when I actually got over my ravioliphobia, but when I fell, I fell hard. And now I'm obsessed. And Buca's is some of the best. Seriously, where has it been hiding all my life? Best line of the evening? My sister saying that Italian is her favorite food. As long as she isn't eating Mexican. Amen to that...So imagine my happiness combining my new love, ravioli with my eternal love, fried mozerella and what you get is one happy Tawnya.
Our next stop was to burn the rest of the day shopping. Oh, my new favorite love. First stop was stocking up on my Stress Relief body spray. See? Bath and Body Works USED to carry it and discontinued it without warning several years ago. A couple of years ago, they revamped and brought it back and now I REFUSE to be caught off guard again. So my bathroom pantry may look a little green, but I'll be ready for any sneaky getting rid of, should it happen again. After that I put a dent in my allowance at Antrhrpologie. The bag I bought? Gorg. The sweater? Perfect for upcoming family pics. More shopping at Forever 21 (complete with a very pretty male that I would have COMPLETELY had a crush on in high school, buying a lace body suit so not in his color) and a print at ZGallerie and it was shaping up to be a pretty decent outing. But then Build A Bear happened.
Now, I admit, I'm a Build A Bear novice. I stupidly believed that you go in, pick an animal, get it stuffed and pay. Oh, the naivete of youth. Or, you know, last Friday. And I will apologize to any BAB fanatics right now, because this may not be kind! We went in so my niece could pick something out. She decided she didn't really want anything, but Sammy fell in love with a gray cat. Shocking, no? Because we hadn't bought him a stuffty in approximately 1.2 seconds (SEE: beglittered penguin at the aquarium), I decided to get it for him. We take it to the stuffter and get it stuffed. She makes Sammy do some black magic voodoo involving a fabric heart and we go to pay, avoiding all areas with clothing (really?) and whatever else. The people in front of us take FOREVER to check out and I'm wondering why. I'm especially wondering why there is only one cashier when there are 40 other employees trying to pounce on you at every turn wandering the store. When I get up to the counter, finally, Sammy hands over his cat (which he's named Salad. Very inexplicably) and she scans him. And then I suddenly realize why checking out takes so long...
"We are running a special where you can get any outfit and shoes for your animal for $29.95."
(complete guffaw) "Yeah, no. Just the cat."
"Ok." - gets out a box for the animal that is akin to a very nice homeless shelter and NEARLY as much cardboard as my appliances came in.
"I don't need the box. It seems excessive especially since he's already carrying his cat."
"You don't want the box?"
"Yeah. No."
"We're you able to print out a birth certificate?"
"A what? Seriously? For my son's cat? No. We just want to pay for the stuffty."
"And is his cat a boy or a girl?"
At this point, it's all I can do to not LAUGH OUT LOUD and say, "TAKE IT BACK, PLEASE!!!". And this is from the girl who HAD a Cabbage Patch doll. Yes, I see the mockery irony clearly and still. I do not stop. Because I'm tired and hot and my fabulous shoes are pinching my piggies and I'm wondering if this infant is really asking me if my son's stuffed cat is male or female. A LOT went through my head, but I just said, "Um, I think it's just pretty androgynous", hoping that would hurry things along and we could go. But apparently Miss 12 year old doesn't know the meaning of "androgynous" because she shot me a horrified look as if I had sworn at her. After ALL of this, she asks me if I want to join the BAB frequent buyer program. All I could do not to laugh out loud. My sister had a great point. I get that she needed to ask me these things, but what in our interaction screamed "Sign me up!" to a membership to Build a Bear? So between that and my sister's laughing, we're pretty sure our pics are in some sort of black binder of banned from Build A Bear's. Not that I'll be going back any time soon...
I wonder how many other people I could make think I was swearing by using the word androgynous? Maybe it should go onto that list of almost dirty words...
All of this goodness, however, couldn't make up for the BEST news of the weekend. Ready???
I'M GOING TO GO SEE CROWDED HOUSE IN CONCERT!!!!!!
Right? Greatest news ever? I'm still not sure how it all happened. They are CLEARLY not playing anywhere near me and a quick trip to LA or Portland wasn't an option this year. Well, as luck would have it, we were planning a quick getaway and when I double checked the tour dates, realized if we changed our plans by ONE weekend, we could go. So, because I have the BEST husband in the world, it was a go. Man he tolerates my Finn obsession well! I won't go into the wheres and whens yet, but suffice it to say I am beyond giddy. I didn't think I'd ever get to see CH in concert. I know I've seen many the Finn incarnation in concert, but to see CH? Nirvana. And soon, a dream realized. So excited.
I am also considering a girls weekend to Chicago with my sisters-in-law next spring. I just need to make sure there's enough valium to get me on that plane...
